Hero
by Tony McD
Summary: Xander reflects at the end of 'Grave'.


Title: Hero  
  
Author: Tony McD  
  
Rating: PG (ish)  
  
Pairings: W/X  
  
Summary: Xander reflects at the end of 'Grave'. Set to 'Hero' (Spiderman theme song).  
  
Distribution: Anywhere, just let me know.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer nor do we own any other characters. This is a work of fiction written for fun and enjoyment. 'Hero' belongs to some other dude I can't think of at the moment.  
  
Authors' notes: To my mind 'Hero' is the song that best sums up W/X at the end of 'Grave'.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
I am so high, I can hear heaven  
  
I am so high, I can hear heaven  
  
Whoa, but heaven...no, heaven don't hear me  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
We hadn't been up here in years, not since before Jessie died. Me, Wills, and Jess used to come up here and look down on Sunnydale as if we were angels in heaven. The views were spectacular.  
  
God, we were so innocent.  
  
Things have changed so much since then. Jess is long dead and Wills and I aren't up here for the view. She came up here to destroy the world and I came here to die with the woman I love.  
  
Things have changed so damned much.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
And they say  
  
That a hero could save us  
  
I'm not gonna stand here and wait  
  
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles  
  
Watch as we all fly away  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
Buffy. Real life superhero and vampire slayer. Or rather, vampire layer. It still sickens me, Buffy and Spike, Anya and Spike. I hate Spike more than anything in the world, even Deadboy. He's wrecked havoc on all our relationships.  
  
But to tell the truth, the basic problems were our own doing. We drifted from each other, wrapped up in our own lives, our own insecurities. Our friendships had become a house of cards, Spike was just the gust of wind that brought it all crashing down.  
  
I guess we needed everything torn down, to hit rock bottom before we could rebuild our friendship on solid foundations. Of us all I think I hit rock bottom first, which makes sense since I had the least distance to fall. After hitting rock bottom you tend to re-evaluate what's important in your life. You see those closest to you in a new light.  
  
Buffy was the next to hit bottom, but it was too soon after I'd hit it for me to help her much. I was still too busy sorting out my crap to help her sort out hers. Even if I was able to help her, I'd made my decision on what, and who, mattered most in my life.  
  
Willow.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
Someone told me  
  
Love would all save us  
  
But, how can that be  
  
Look what love gave us  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
Love. Buffy loved her mom. I loved Anya. Willow loved Tara. But Joyce died, Buffy became hollow and when she leapt off that tower she didn't stop falling, even when her body hit the ground.  
  
Me, I'd crawled up out of the basement and made it as far as my nice new apartment. It doesn't sound like much, but from where I was standing it was a dizzying height and was about to go even higher by marring Anya. But my fear of heights, my fear of falling made me stumble, and I fell.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
A world full of killing  
  
And blood spilling  
  
That world never came  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
Of all of us, Willow had come furthest, loved most, and in the end, fell hardest. From shy girl who played with GI Joe's just to be with the boy she loved, to confident techno-pagan dancing to the music of her boyfriend's band, to powerful Wicca fighting hell gods with her beautiful girlfriend.  
  
And now to grieving murderer and one-woman apocalypse.  
  
Warren nearly killed Buffy, and he killed Tara. And Willow killed him.  
  
And still she hadn't stopped falling, even after torturing, flaying, and burning his body into nothing.  
  
Willow's world had come to an end by Warren's hands. The entire world nearly came to an end by Willow's.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
And they say  
  
That a hero could save us  
  
I'm not gonna stand here and wait  
  
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles  
  
Watch as we all fly away  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
Buffy was.. is a hero. She's saved the world, and me, more times than I can recall. I do my bit to help, but this time it was different. There weren't any heroes to save the day. The world was going to end and there wasn't a single damn thing anybody could do to stop it.  
  
I was gonna die and I wanted nothing more than to spend it with the woman I loved more than anything in this screwed up world.  
  
Even if she was the one who was gonna kill me.  
  
I didn't come up here to save the world. I came up here to tell Willow I love her.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
Now that the world isn't ending  
  
It's love that I'm sending to you  
  
It isn't the love of a hero  
  
And that's why I fear it won't do  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
I wasn't kidding when I told her I love her. I love her with all my heart and soul. Standing there, facing her, I had a moment of clarity. It didn't matter if she didn't love me the way I loved her. It didn't matter if she killed me and burned the world to a cinder. I'd still love her for forever and a day.  
  
All that mattered was that she knew it.  
  
I'm the first to admit that I'm no hero. I go through life scared out of my wits. I make mistakes, hurt people I love and care for, do dumb things. I don't have superpowers, huge piles of money, or movie star good looks.  
  
But, for the second time, I saved Willow with just my love.  
  
And in doing so, I saved the world.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
And they say  
  
That a hero could save us  
  
I'm not gonna stand here and wait  
  
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles  
  
Watch as we all fly away  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
Willow fell. I caught her.  
  
I'm holding her in my arms and we're hurting. I've got a couple of huge gashes on my chest which are gonna add to my collection of scars. And I've got a couple of broken ribs.  
  
Willow's heart has been torn out.  
  
But she's always got mine.  
  
It's not much, but it's all I've got to give.  
  
*-*-*-*  
  
And they're watching us  
  
They're watching us  
  
As we all fly away  
  
And they're watching us  
  
They're watching us  
  
As we all fly away  
  
And they're watching us  
  
They're watching us  
  
As we all fly away 


End file.
